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What On Earth Is Christmas

By Nick Haworth & Andrew Oxspring
Ages: 7-11yrs

To those watching us from across the galaxy, we humans must seem a strange species! Some of the things we do are quite extraordinary! Yet at Christmas, with our weird and wonderful festive traditions, we are truly at our best. Taking a comical yet affectionate look at such traditions, this musical celebrates how we come together at this time of year, in love and friendship, to remind ourselves about what’s really important!

*FREE Word doc. of the script to edit yourself*

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Overview

Plot Summary

Did you have any idea that we were being watched by beings from a distant planet, who are curious about our bizarre ways? (song – We’ve Been Watching You) Amused, confused and intrigued by what we do, they want to reach out across the galaxy to us…and so they have planned a visit! They have discovered that we are at our friendliest and most peaceful at Christmas and so decide that this is when they will come. They therefore set about researching our festive traditions, viewing our behaviour on their hi-tech screens and learning as much as they can about what we do to celebrate, so they will feel less like strangers when they arrive! 

Presents are a lovely way to show we care. Whilst viewing a family exchanging gifts, the aliens soon understand why it feels better to give than receive! This is especially true when the gifts received don’t quite live up to expectations. Did Dad really think Mum would appreciate a new iron this year?! And what exactly is Mum implying with a gift to Dad of a year’s subscription to the gym?! We are finally reminded that there’s no better gift than something hand-made, with love. (song – From Me To You) 

The aliens then set about researching Christmas trees, learning how jolly they make us feel, bringing a decorative twinkle to our homes. But for one family, still without a tree on Christmas Eve, the only option might be the last poor, shabby and unattractive little spruce left in the shop! Will they give it a home and save it from being firewood? (song – The Last Christmas Tree)

Our strange practice of kissing under the mistletoe is something that fascinates the aliens. As Great Granny descends on her family for Christmas, armed with a sprig of mistletoe, what can the grandchildren do to avoid their cheeks being covered in lipstick? Absolutely nothing! (song – Great Granny And The Mistletoe)

Ah, a traditional Christmas dinner! Turkey and the trimmings, eaten whilst pulling crackers and wearing paper hats – what’s not to like? But have you ever spared a thought for those poor Brussels sprouts? Ridiculed by the more popular items on the plate and left at the end of the meal to be thrown in the bin, Christmas can be an unhappy time for them! What will the aliens make of the festive season’s most misunderstood vegetable? (song – Sprouts Have Feelings Too) 

Of course, the most important thing for the aliens to find out is why humans celebrate Christmas. In a narrated nativity scene, in which the tableau is presented and a carol sung, they are introduced to the characters who were part of the first ever Christmas. However, the donkey has a few words to say about who the real hero of the story is, leading everyone in a song and dance highlighting his contribution to the events surrounding the birth of Jesus. (song – Do The Donkey)

So, having found out plenty about humans and our festive behaviour, the aliens get ready to blast off for Earth, keen to experience Christmas for themselves. With rucksacks full of presents, during the final song they arrive and are warmly welcomed. Selfies are taken, gifts exchanged and, with a rousing chorus to finish, two worlds are united! (song – Christmas is Finally Here)

Listen below to the songs from ‘What On Earth Is Christmas’
"We've Been Watching You"
"From Me To You"
"The Last Christmas Tree"
"Great Granny And The Mistletoe"
"Sprouts Have Feelings Too"
"Silent Night"
"Do The Donkey"
"Christmas Is Finally Here"

Characters

43 speaking parts in order of appearance
(easily increased or reduced to suit your numbers – suggestions included.)

8 Aliens

Family #1

Daisy & George
Mum & Dad

Family #2

Alice
Mum
Sam, the neighbour
Shopkeeper
Customer
Christmas Tree

Family #3

Daniel & Lucy
Mum & Dad
Great Granny

The Christmas Dinner

A Knife
A Fork
Stuffing
2 Pigs-in-Blankets
2 Carrots
3 Roast Potatoes
Turkey
3 Sprouts

The Nativity

3 Narrators
3 Donkeys

Non-speaking characters for featured songs

An ensemble of children with wrapped presents
An ensemble of mistletoe-bearers
An ensemble of sprouts
Traditional Nativity characters
An ensemble of donkeys

What do you get?

This musical production is available to buy in 2 different formats.

Option 1 – Physical Product – Posted

This option can be paid for online, or schools* can request to have goods sent with an invoice to be paid within 30 days.
* Non-UK schools and private individuals (not ordering on behalf of a UK school) must pay online.

A wire-bound book with:
Full script
Detailed stage directions
Character information
Tips for costumes, props and scenery
Piano score for all songs
Licensing information

An Audio CD with:
Vocal demo tracks to all songs
Backing tracks to all songs
Continuity/incidental music
Sound effects

Option 2 – Digital Download

Any order containing a digital download option must be paid for online at the point of ordering. Any order containing a digital download which is not accompanied by payment will not be processed.

Both PDF and editable MS Word documents of:
Full script
Detailed stage directions
Character information
Tips for costumes, props and scenery
Piano score for all songs
Licensing information

MP3 files of:
Vocal demo tracks to all songs
Backing tracks to all songs
Continuity/incidental music
Sound effects

Extras included:
JPEG files of cover artwork for making posters or other promo material.

Upon completion of your order, a link will be automatically sent to the email address you provided, from which all the files can be downloaded.

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